Spam Anyone?

I'm probably one of the rare persons who will admit to liking Spam.

Not the email kind that gets my systolic blood pressure all out of whack, but the pseudo-lunchmeat product.

Grilled in a skillet with eggs? Tasty. (My apologies to all vegetarians.)

However, it is the other sort of spam upon which I'd like to comment. Spamming blogs, like this one, has become just as annoying as email spam. I have two Bbogs here on Blogspot and both receive their share of spam-comments.

Attention Spammers: If you're a potential or current spamwad, though I doubt you'd take the time to actually read anything other than your ebook, "Spam-Recipes-That-Really-Annoy" or your new "Guide-To-Your-First-Time-With-A-Girl" paperback, you might be interested in the latest joint PBS-CNET television series being produced for the Fall.

Here's a sneak-peek at a portion of the first episode:

Hi Neighbors!

It's time for Mister Barry's Virtual Neighborhood!

Hey Little Spammer,

Come on in and sit down. Let's have a chat, shall we?

I know what you've been doing. Am I'm not sure that I like it.

I want to you know that what you're doing is very, very bad.
Mister Barry has a special name for really-special people like you.

Would you like to know what it is? I think you would.

It's "low-life."

Can you say 'low-life?' I think you can.

That's right. Say it slowly. L-O-W-L-I-F-E.

What is a low-life, you ask?

I know this is probably beyond your intellectual capability to
understand...oops, there Mister Barry goes again, forgetting that you probably didn't graduate from high school.

I'm sorry. Let me start over.

A "lowlife" is a grunt.

Can you say "grunt?" I know you can.

A "lowlife"is also the cyber-equivalent of a vandal. You see, vandals
are just too stupid to see that their actions are a complete waste of time.

A "lowlife" is the sloth of the virtual world.

Oh my! Mister Barry needs to apologize for that last comment. (I
really have nothing against sloths.)

Mister Barry realizes that you're most likely an individual with a very small cyber-extension. That's too bad.

Mister Barry invites you to get what the rest of us have.

It's called a "life." Can you say "L-I-F-E?" I think you
can.

Where do you find one of these. Why, there's one waiting for just
outside that hole you crawl out of each evening.

Well, that's all the time we have for today, neighbor.

See you next time, and remember what Mister Barry aways says:

"Spammers are complete digestive-end-point orifices."

Have a nice day!